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TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLING SUMMER MOVIE STANDARDS
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JUNE 27th, 2009. 2:25am Chicago Central Standard time.
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I write that for 2 reasons:
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1st, Transformers introduces every scene with a date-time-location in the lower left corner (so you should imagine hearing a computer beeping sound as if the text is being written on screen letter by letter as you read that - because it’s dramatic!).
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2nd, I’d normally be asleep at this time, but the movie was six hours long and the ADD/Shell Shock hasn’t warn off yet (is it normal for my eye to be twitching like this? Oh, and I randomly yell out “OPTIMUS!!!” every minute or so. I think I should call a doctor tomorrow).
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In all seriocity - yeah, it’s a bastardization of serious, but so what! if Michael Bay can bend the rules of the Transformer universe over and get in there with a nice gratuitous exploitative close up, then I’m gonna violate the purity of grammar! Remember: Nothing is sacred if you can make it look cool on screen.
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But for reals yo, I is gonna break it down 4u right now dog. Just keep it real. You know? Just get all Mudflap and Skids on yo ass. Cuz dats how u sounds kewl.
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Seriously, what the f*#k were they thinking when they created those characters?
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Hold on, all of my reactions to the movie are swirling around like the stones of the pyramid during the climatic battle between Ballcrusher(?) was that the big lumbering Decepticon’s name? The drunk Yogi Bear looking robot stumbling and struggling to climb the side of the ancient landmark mistaking it for its bed in a cave? Maybe it was Ballbanger? No, wait! Freeballer! That’s it!
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It’s not like that could be Devastator, cause I thought Megatron ordered Freeballer to attack by saying “Devastator” but that couldn’t be right because it looks NOTHING F*#KING LIKE HIM!
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Ahhhh, jeez. I wish I was making this stuff up. I wish I was some cinematic vandal spreading verbal graffiti across the blogosphere in some jealous rage because Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is a masterwork by an expert celluloid craftsman.
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But, it’s just the tip of the pyramid that conceals the frightful truth: There’s a lot wrong with this car commercial/toy advertisement/military recruitment film/CGI promo reel.
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So, let’s take a step by step look at this years biggest blockbuster and find some objective movie truth....after the Ritalin kicks in. OPTIMUS!!! (no, it’s not working yet).
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It’s about 20 minutes into the movie....and I’m having a good time!
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What the F is wrong with me? I came in here prepared to hate the sh*t out of this! I wanna join the army of critics pissing all over this one. Leave a dry spot for me guys!
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I was sooooo ready to be the bad cop. To snap at the smallest mistake. To make a note of every slow motion shot, close up of the Bootyformer’s ass and chaotically filmed fight sequence and then to unleash an attack of verbal movie justice.
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Here’s the thing, even though that above intro was pretty harsh, I DON’T HATE THIS.
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I’M JUST DEPRESSED BY IT. I treat it like the son that never lived up to his father’s demanding expectations. Yeah, you’re gonna support him and make sure he doesn’t live on the streets, but you won’t look at him (or her if you’d prefer this to be a mother daughter analogy. Or, pimp and ho if that works better) the same way he does the family golden boy.
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Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is the offspring I’d visit in prison. Yeah, it did a lot of things wrong, but deep down inside, I can see some hope for rehabilitation and with a little faith, hard work and honesty, a chance for redemption in the next movie. Though after it makes a billion dollars, I doubt there will be motivation for any growth.
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This could be too far gone and the best solution might be to cut our losses. There won’t be any change, it’ll just get worse OPTIMUS!!! Let’s throw away the key and do something productive.
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The official disappointing reality. Bay’s version of Devastator makes you say “WTF!” Really, what is this suppose to be? Just when you thought it couldn’t get any sh*ttier.
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How did they come up with this random idea? Take a Grizzly Bear. Add in some Mega-Maid from Spaceballs. And viola! You have a huge clumsy vacuum cleaner Transformer. Awesomenessosity!
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I think I finally know where Optimus’ trailer goes when he transforms into a robot - to the bank! Cause it filed with a sh*tload of money! As I write this the Box Office returns after 2 days equal about $86 million! The first day it brought in about $60 mil which was 8 or so shy of The Dark Knight’s record. If this takes in anywhere close to the 1 billion worldwide that the latter pic collected, our movie future is in trouble. More on that later.
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Let’s focus on what this movie did right (there is one thing), which was, correct the mistake OPTIMUS!!! that all fans voiced after the first movie, “There aren’t enough robots!”
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If that was the one major gripe audiences voiced two years ago, Bay and company seemed to have heard it and even been hurt by it. Because they really over compensated. I haven’t seen damaged ego control like this since One-Nut-Willy bought a Lamborghini (no releation to one-eyed-Willy from The Goonies).
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Just Imagine the script meeting for TROTF. Bay, Orci, Kurtzman and Kruger are reading through audience feedback cards and internet blog posts.
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Kurtzman picks up a comment card: “Let’s see, here’s one, Hank from Arizona comments, ‘ I thought this movie was about robots fighting each other, not people talking all the time.’”
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Orci clicks keys on this laptop, an image of a Transformers blog flickers to life on the wall via projector: “This site has over 30,000 fan views a day. Check out this post, ‘F*#k this movie. I wanted to see Megatron and Optimus fighting, but instead I get Shia, Megan Hottie Fox and a dog named Mojo wasting 21/2 hours of my life.’”
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Kruger reaches for a piece of paper: “Here’s Roger Ebert---”
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Bay pounds his fist and stands up: “Enough!” (Shot here is a swirling camera around the conference table ah-la steady cam style coming to a stop on Bay as he pounds his fist, continuous take, moving in for a close up as he says this line) “I’m gonna give them so many robots, they’ll be pissing oil and sh*tting lug nuts for a month.”
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Kurtzman: “So which Transformers do you want in this one?”
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Bay: “All of em’.”
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Orci: “No offense Mike, but there’s like hundreds of characters. That could be a bit much.”
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Bay: “How many did we have in the fist one?”
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Kruger: “About 14. But I’ve been researching this, being new and all to the team here. We could introduce some cool characters and develop a really interesting story-”
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Bay: “ Were you listening to the ‘fans’ (he’s makes the quotations gesture with his hands) whatever your name is?”
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Kruger: “Ehren, Kruger Mr. Bay. I’ve written Arlington Road, Scream 3, The Ring, The Skeleton Key---”
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Bay: “Congratu-f*#king-lations Kruger! But that doesn’t matter right now does it? Does it!?”
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Kruger: “It kind of does, because I think this movie really needs some character development.”
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Orci and Kurtzman are shocked, like they’ve just watched a high school mathlete tell the quarterback to “1+2 = f*#k yourself.” Orci leans over whispering to Kruger: “Never, ever, never say those words here. If you want to keep this job, learn to say two words, ‘Yes Michael.’”
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Bay leans over the table, planting his fits on the edge to brace himself. He stares at Kruger (Camera should be Dirty Harry “Do you feel lucky punk?” style) “Did you just say ‘character development?’”
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Kruger is about to continue his confrontation when Orci jabs him in the gut with his pen, Kruger looks over at Orci and Kurtzman both shaking their heads “No.” Kruger slowly nods “Okay” to them. He turns to Michael kiss-ass-sheepishly, “Yes Michael.”
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Bay leans in closer: “That’s what I thought. Let me ask you, did the ‘fans’ mention character or story or emotions or Oscar nomination in their feedback? Or did they say robots kicking the sh*t out of each other for 5 hours would be their ultimate on-screen wet dream?”
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Kurtzman, Orci & Kruger: “Yes Michael.”
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Bay: “Then go to your writing room, order in some Chinese Food, get a pot of coffee working and give me a script filled with robot ass beats galore, some Army Navy, Air Force & Pentagon imagery, hot sluts and a ton of d*ck and fart jokes. Is that clear?”
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Kurtzman, Orci & Kruger: “Yes Michael.”
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Bay leans back, stands up and takes his sunglasses off (tight close up of his eyes): “They’re gonna get their robots.” (Dramatic tune-in-next-week style music blares as the scene fades out).
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As much as I want to complain about the nonstop robot action, I can’t, because I was one of those fans that said, “Boo hoo, I want more robots. Why are there so many people in this movie?”
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It’s a definite improvement over the first. Yeah there’s the “Nest” team and some government peeps, but gone are the annoying side stories of hottie computer girls and comic relief car salesmen and Sector 7 Men in Black wannabes. Even though there is a poor man’s teenage version of Mulder from the X-Files as Sam’s roommate and a not so bad appearance by John Turturro.
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There’s absolutely more on-screen robot time, but....but, it’s ONLY action.
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I think what we, the ‘fans’ wanted was something closer to the cartoon. Sure, more fighting and destruction, but, more INTER-action, not just ACTION. That’s what made the show work, the OPTIMUS!!! relationships between the major characters.
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JUNE 28th, 2009. 10:25pm Chicago Central Standard time.
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The twitch in the eye is gone and so is the OPTIMUS!!! Turrets Syndrome. I guess I just needed a good night of sleep. Now (action movie hero close up) let’s finish this f*#king review.
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There’s one great, great, super, great, perfect moment in this movie. About 30 minutes in we visit Cybertron where Megatron and Starscream meet up with their leader: The Fallen. We learn the reason they want the Allspark and Energon - their newborns are dying.
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From beginning to end it’s a great mix of drama/character and effects! So, why isn’t the rest of the movie like that? How did this sneak its way into this cut? Maybe the writers spliced it in before the print was locked and shipped out?
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This really feels like a scene that belonged to a different draft. Maybe one that was character based and had a little less bang-boom-pow?
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It feels right, but out of place because the stakes and emotions never continue in the following scenes.
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Imagine if it was, we might have had sympathy for The Fallen. Instead of being some cliché bad guy, he’d be a concerned leader fighting for the survival of his people. Their babies are dying. They need Energon to fix the problem, why not destory the sun to do it? It’s us or them, who do you choose?
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This scene also reveals how LITTLE the story actually matters in this franchise. IF it did, this story point about saving the “hatchlings” would have been mentioned in the first installment.
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It’s a borderline noble cause - saving the future of your race. Something we as people could relate to. Something that could connect us with these characters. Something that is used like a pick up line to get our attention, but forgotten about once the movie has gotten what it wanted from us. Notice, it’s not mentioned ever again and most importantly, missing from the resolution/climax.
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And this is the only moment of I have sympathy for this movie, because it has a wilting flower of story potential that needs a little water and sunlight to blossom, but, it’s so buried beneath the flash and sizzle that the light may never reach it. Here, it’s like Hollywood has destroyed, like the Decepticons planned to do, this sun source of story light and damned up our oceans of creativity so these seeds of potential will no longer grow. Maybe it’s more foolish hope than sympathy.
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The first Transformers had story anorexia. Barely just enough to keep it alive. That’s why there were so many comedic scenes, because the movie had to buy itself some time in-between major action/CGI set pieces. My favorite example is the Autobots sneaking around Sam’s house while he has to deal with his parents and Hottie number 1 as he tries to get the glasses which will lead to the cube. It’s a 15 mintue sequence that should have taken 15 seconds. Optimus punches through Sam’s house and takes the glasses, move on to the next story point.
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Here the story has more meat, but it’s like a bloody rare piece of half a cow with no side dishes or veggies. There’s no balance of character along side objective which is decode the symbols/find the Energon/stop the Decepticons/The Fallen from destroying the sun.
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There are barely any distractions from this objective progression. Yeah there’s Sam’s mom acting like a Desperate Housewife spazz. Or some bullsh*t about a slut-former blond T-1000 wannabe Transformer with a tail under her skank-o-tron blue panties (which of course have a close up)...was I the only one waiting for her to turn into the Bang Bus?
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So, it definitely moves forward. The characters are always moving towards something. The OUTER motivation is clear, but there’s no INNER motivation. Other than that moment on Cybertron which is forgotten about like a one night stand.
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Which is how the majority of robots are treated here. They’re on screen anonymously, to fill the empty screen space with some shape shifting , fire a couple of lasers and die or disappear quickly.
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Don’t the Autobots use their crashed ship as a base? Fine, there’s no ship in the first movie, but couldn’t they have some Dr. Strangelove War Room oversized roundtable where they meet to plan their next move, view footage of Decepticon activity and give each other objectives?
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A nice step was taken to incorporate the idea of a “Nest” team, with Optimus having dialog with a cliché government a-hole bureaucrat stolen straight from James Wood’s character in 1997’s Contact.
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Would it have been that much of a pain in the ass to have the Transformers talking to each other about the bigger and smaller stories - Cybertron stillborns & Sam’s mental meltdown?
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One of the biggest surprises for me was how badly the fight scenes are still filmed! WTF!?
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Here’s the classic, most basic 1920s Hollywood way to film a scene:
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Wide establishing shot so we know where the F we’re at.
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Medium shot so we know who or what to focus on within the larger environment.
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Close up as the drama is exchanged between the characters we are focusing on.
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The reverse works as well. Many movies start close, move out until we see the bigger picture.
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What good movies DON’T do is stay close up for 90% of the scene! ESPECIALLY DURING ACTION/FIGHTING!
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The other day I was watching Enter the Dragon and the fight sequences were filmed perfectly!
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Specifically, there’s the fight when Lee battles the dude with the face/eye scar. It starts wide for a few punches and kicks and THEN moves in close because we’ve established our arena, the fighters, how they look performing the moves, so NOW it’s okay to move in for close ups of punches, face kicks and primal screams of action death moves.
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Of course you want to creatively take these basic how-to-film-a-scene guidelines. We would be bored sh*tless if every scene played like that. But the goal of this basic technique should never be forgotten: Make sure the audience never asks, “What the F is going on?”
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Imagine watching a UFC fight in close up. Imagine it starts close up on a fist and then just helicopters around the shoulders, legs, elbows, nose, back of the head, between the cheek and the mat and finally a hand slapping on the mat as the tap out signals the end. You’d be like, WTF?
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JUNE 29th, 2009. 11:15am Chicago Central Standard time.
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Never before has writing a review taken me three f’n days! It’s just, every time I think, “Finally, that’s it” nope, another shell shock flashback distraughts me into a panicked was-that-real-or-just-a-nightmare disorienting perception hiccup.
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Let’s continue along this path of looking at what the film succeeds yet fails at. The action. Not only is it filmed like a far-sighted cinematographer forgot his glasses, the action is also meaningless!
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You might be asking, “Do explosions need backstory? Connection to characters? Emotional impact?”
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ABSOF*#KINGLUTELY!
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Most of us have watched some WWE fights, right? I was into it back in the Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Mancho Man Savage days (mid 80s) and again during The Rock vs. Stone Cold heyday of 1999-2001.
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I know UFC is the new WWE, so if you watch one or the other, the lessons are the same, fights works best with developed characters and storylines.
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Think back to all the classic battles, all the Wrestlemanias and Monday Night Raws. We all watched the matches because we were emotionally invested with the fighters, we knew their motivations and stakes and followed developed strorylines.
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That’s the purpose of the interviews, the window/reflection/confessoin cam moments when we took the time to say, “I like/hate this guy.” Then when the fight date was set, the anticipation built, BECAUSE WE KNEW WHAT WAS AT STAKE!
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The live action treatment of the Optimus/Megatron rivalry/storyline has been third world: malnourished and totally expendable.
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WWE has created THE pop cultures premiere male soap opera. It’s based in drama, character and emotions. Yes, those emotions are very primal most of the time, anger being the most popular. But, there’s also some sadness, pride and even love, in a bromance kind of way, especially between tag team partners who eventually switch sides, backstab and betray which leads to vengeance, etc.
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This is nothing new. History has Brutus and Caesar, Cain and Abel, Romulus and Remus, Sir Lancelot and King Arthur. Every age, every culture has a bromance gone bad. More importantly, real people that equal real drama.
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One of my favorite examples that Transformers could/should have studied was the Muhammad Ali/ Joe Frazier rivalry. It’s so classic and uber engrossing. On October 1st, 1975 these two modern day gladiators fought the final of their 3 battles and it’s one of the if not the greatest heavyweight clashes ever.
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The Paris & Nicole/ Bird & Magic rivalries are more interesting than the one between Optimus and Megatron.
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There are two main factors for this:
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1) The physical fight, in the ring was amazing.
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2) The mental fight, outside the ring was engaging.
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As an experiment watch the match without knowing anything about their real world drama, the personal emotional war of words and feelings they waged in the months before the fight ( it was actually building up over a period of years, but let’s make it easy).
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Watching that fight you’ll be exhilarated just like you are watching robot ass kicking in Transformers.
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But then, watch the interviews, get all up in their bizness and THEN watch the fight knowing what their thinking and feeling as they throw every punch, bump gloves before the start of the fight and look into each others eyes, and at the end as the very real threat of death and permanent damage increases with the impact of each blow, THEN pay attention to how you’re experiencing the fight and ask yourself which way of viewing it is better.
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Another great example of physical fighting that has bigger meaning is the Max Schmeling/Joe Louis rivalry of the late 1930s. It was America vs Nazi Germany, Black vs White, Freedom vs Totalitarianism. Listening to those fights (back then it was all radio) there was entertainment AND meaning.
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Have you ever found yourself mimicking a punch Nintendo Wii style at the screen as you watched a movie? I remember watching The Net in 1995, yes at the theater - yeah, I know the movie is Lifetime Channel cheesy, but I was like 17, Sandra Bullock was a new Hollywood Hottie and my date wanted to see it...obviously I wouldn’t pay for that today in theaters :) But, I guess the money was worth it, because I have this memory of this older dude (in his late 60s) a row up from us swinging at the screen as Sandra punched out the bad guy. For some reason this dude was really into the movie and connected to Sandra’s need for vengeance and justice (though, he might have been having a “senior moment”).
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If that movie and fake wrestling and real world boxing can create, capture and connect us to it, why can’t Transformers Revenge of the Fallen?
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Because we don’t require it to.
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Because Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is a reflection of who we are, of what we’ve become.
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Junkies.
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All we want is The High.
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So I guess this is the part of the review where I’m gonna get all philosophical and “deep” even though I’m not trying to get on a soap box or anything “serious” like that. It just needs to be said.
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First, I want you to know I LOVE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS!
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I grew up in the 80s and 90s and have seen all the big comic book movies of the 00s. I love movies that take me away, have holy sh*t effects and half naked love interests and rough and tough heroes that only speak in catchy one liners. I can recite all the Ah-nuld lines in Predator, Running Man and Total Recall. I saw Indepdence Day at the theater like 3 times just to see aliens destroying sh*t. I own DVDs for Old School, Grandma’s Boy and Jackass. I’m a regular movie loving Joe Average, not some snobby douche who only watches “films” that have to have subtitles and be in black and white. All in all, I just love stories. Storytelling, storyhearing, storysaying...as long as it’s “good”.
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Cinema is THE medium for sharing stories. And if we believe it or not, stories impact our lives.
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Here are a couple thoughts on Culture:
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Definition - the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious or social group and the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief and behavior that depends upon the capacity for learning and transmitting it all to succeeding generations.
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Culture is simply the ensemble of stories well tell ourselves about ourselves. - Clifford Geertz
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The quote by Geertz reveals how the knowledge of culture is translated: through story.
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So here are some thoughts about story:
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Stories are equipment for living. - Kenneth Burke
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Be careful what is dramatized on stage. Humans are prone to reenact, to imitate what they see. - Plato
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Look, I’m the last person who wants to go to movies that “preach” and “teach”. If I want that, I’ll go to school, church or check out a documentary.
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But what I do want is EFFORT! For the filmmakers to at least TRY!
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Transformers Revenge of the Fallen takes it to the next level: It just doesn’t give a sh*t. Because it doesn’t have to! Because WE don’t give a sh*t.
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The funny thing about having standards is that if someone wants something from you, they’ll meet your requirements. And in this case, since the bar is lower than United States math scores, it’s lowers itself. Story here is a bimbo, because it limbos down to our expectations, whoring itself out to make a quick Opening Weekend dollar - which as of this sentence equals $200 f*#king million in the first 5 days! Just a few million behind The Dark Night’s 5 day take.
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Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is on pace to make as much money as The Dark Knight?! Is it okay to start crying in public now? Are there any more fallout shelters for sale? Duct tape and surgical masks anyone? What the f*#kin f*#k?
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The Dark Knight, though not perfect, at least developed characters, story and overall drama so the action sequences actually meant something as they charged are adrenaline centers. It was the White Knight of hope in our darkening cinematic world. I guess Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is The Joker and it has won, it has proven that we can be driven to destroy ourselves, our movie future.
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Movies used to have “isms” now they only have “gasims”.
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This is where we tie back into that thought about being addicts, just wanting our CGI fix, not caring about what happens before it appears on-screen, and oblivious to the ramifications of our box office dollars on the future of movies. Just give us cool looking sh*t and we’re happy. What are we 4? “Just look at the pretty colors?”
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When riding a roller coaster, the twists, dips and flips are fun because of the “boring” moments, the “build up” breaks, as the chains pull us towards the top of the drop we build anticipation, we know it’s coming but need the down time to contrast the feeling and experience so it can have an effect. Constantly whirling and twirling turns enjoyment into inmystomachupmythroatoutmymouthallovertherowbehindme-ment.
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I don’t want to feel like a meth fiend! Slow the F down!
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If movies communicate culture because they contain story, then it looks like our expectations of story reflect our standards of culture. Which anchors itself in our mating rituals. Here the dating of hook up culture: let’s have fun, enjoy our time together, but let’s not get too serious, because it’s gonna end predictably. We’ve heard, seen and experienced this before. Someone will cheat on someone before it inevitably ends, so let’s just get straight to the real reason we’re here, instead of pretending this is all about something else like romance, love and longevity (character, drama and story). I want what you got and versa vices.
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Maybe because we’re so used to clicking and hitting what we want and need in life at the speed of internet we’ve forgot the importance of experiencing the journey, not just the goal.
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Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is one the most department story mannequin, plastic fruit, breast implant experiences I’ve ever been a part of at the movies. It’s good enough to sell you on the fantasy, but it always leaves you appreciating the reality.
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There’s so much more to CSI about this cinematic crime, but lets save the discussion about the rest for a Movie Night. Like:
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ROBOT HEAVEN!!!
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Mudflap & Skids, really? What happened, Stero & Type were already taken as names? Is Optimus so desperate for Autobots that he searched the back alleys of Cybertron and found a couple of robo crack heads?
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The Bad Boys II poster in Sam’s room.
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The dialog - let’s just say urbandictionary.com should have some screenwriting credit.
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Bootyformer on the motorcycle.
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The way Sam is basically Chuck from the NBC show.
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The destruction of the Energon weapon before we get to see it build up power and go off.
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The ending.
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The.....oh, F it! Enough!
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If this didn’t have 120 terabytes of CGI Porn, this would be this decade’s Battlefield Earth. This would be our Plan 9 From Outer Space. This is the forefather of Idiocracy’s Oscar winner Ass.
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Wow, I guess I like this movie less than I thought. The more I remember the scenes and especially see the potential, the more I feel like a parent that worked 3 jobs for 20 years to save for my kids college fund, only to see it all pissed away in drinking games and Rock Band dorm room all-nighters. It had a chance to do something special, but it just settled for lowest common denominator.
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Not because it didn’t know better, but because it DID know better!
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It knew that we would put up with it. That we wouldn’t require much of it. It knew we just wanted our CGI money shots and no one involved with the movie wanted anything more. This movie insults everything that used to be great about summer blockbuster adventures. It insults us not with a sophisticated slap in the I-challenge-you-to-a-duel-face with a white silk glove. No, it eats a bowl of chili, washes it down with a burrito laced with Ex-Lax and stands over our face for three hours going Mt. Vesuvius on us.
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And just like Mt. Vesuvius destroyed Pompeii in A.D. 79, if Transformers Revenge of the Fallen makes a billion dollars, it will be the eruption that destroys our storytelling civilization. It will be the Megadisaster that blocks out the sun plunging us into a dark age. Think I’m overreacting? Ask yourself, do you really think part 3 will fix all these problems? More importantly, if we poured a billion into this, are we suddenly gonna wake up and say, “I demand more for my $10!”? I hope so. I still hold out some hope, but since the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, it doesn’t look promising. Though like Harvey Dent said, “The night is darkest before the dawn.”
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By the time Transformers 3: Just Give Us Your F*#king Money Already hits theaters in 2011 good movie lover resistance to the Moviepocalypse might be over. Imgaine, in the theater, opening night, we gaze up at the enormous face of Megatron. Five years it had taken us to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the metal. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two popcorn scented tears trickle down the sides of our nose. But it’s all right, everything is all right, the struggle is finished. We have won the victory over ourselves. We love Bayformers.
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The Movie Preview Critic rates Transformers Revenge of the Fallen in two different ways.
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If you’re seeing it in the theater, then yes, it’s WORTHY of the big screen, BUT at MATINEE price.
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Other than that it’s EDITED FOR TV. You don’t need to pay attention for story, you could probably watch it with the sound turned off and not miss anything, though there is some nice action scene sound editing. Aside from that it’s non stop action so you don’t really need the fast forward ability of the remta; rating.
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All the other ratings from the Preview Review still apply, TRILOGY SYNDROME, PRE-EXISTING FANBASE GUARANTEES BOX OFFICE, DIRECTOR FACTOR, ACTOR FACTOR, BROMANCE, CGI PORN, and it’s a SIGN OF THE MOVIEPOCALYPSE.
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In terms of it’s place in Movie History, it’s great for effects, but it’s so horrible in every other area of film making that’s it’s all in all worse than Transformers (2007) and Transformers: The Movie (1986), again, the CGI is amazing, when it’s not in extreme close up, but that’s not enough to rank it higher.
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On a final, final note.
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I don’t want to piss on peoples dreams, likes and passions. There’s enough crazy sh*t going on in this world that can bring us down, so if there’s some entertainment that helps us relax and forget all the chaos there’s something to be said for that. Just always trust your gut, but don’t forget to use your head. Somewhere between the two you’ll find the truth.
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Until next time, take care, choose your movies wisely because H-Wood gives us more of what we pay for and as always LONG LIVE GOOD MOVIES!
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