Iron Man 2 Movie Review





			RETURN TO HOMEPAGE

IRON MAN 2: GOOD ENOUGH

Iron Man 2 failed.

Yeah, I know in the preview review I recommended it Midnight Show Worthy and in the audio movie review rated it Regular Price Worthy, but the more time I have to think about it, to allow the images and illogical drama-light narrative to ping pong around my brain, the more I know I have to be honest.

It failed.

Not in a this-is-dog-sh*t-A-Nightmare-on-Elm-Street-remake-kind-of-way, but in more of a I-was-a-honor-roll-student-in-high-school-but-freshmen-year-in-college-I’m-gonna-party-and-just-get-by-in-class-without-really-trying. That’s what this feels like, a C-student who has the potential to be valedictorian if they actually tried.

In 2008 Iron Man made over $570 million dollars worldwide on a budget of $140 million. That’s not counting DVD, Blu-ray and merchandising.

Obviously Marvel wanted a sequel, obviously Paramount wanted a sequel and most obviously, fans wanted a sequel, especially with the ballsy, “I’m Iron Man” ending in the first installment. This meant director John Favreau had control here.

Not Christopher Nolan post Dark Knight or James Cameron post Avatar kind of I-can-do-whatever-the- fu*k-I-want-control, but more like, as-long-as-I-don’t-get-too-cocky-I-can-have-final-cut-control, which is pretty rare in today’s movie making world.

The major cast members from the first one were back, Don Cheadle replaced Terrance Howard, Sam Rockwell , always awesome, was Jason Hammer, Scarlett Johansson added some hottie factor and Justin Theroux was brought in as the writer.

On paper that’s a solid lineup.

But like the 2008 Cubs (Chill, I’m a born and raised Chicagoan and a Cubs fan) just because everything looks good on paper or even during the regular season, doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen when the playoffs, or, money-time comes around.

So here, when we ask, “Why did Iron Man 2 end up being just okay?” The answer is: VISION.

There was a total lack of ambitious vision which goes back to the writers and director and the studio.

For examples of amazing sequel vision, let’s reference 1) Empire Strikes Back 2) The Dark Knight 3)Aliens 4) The Godfather 2 5) A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors [no, I’m not joking] 6) Superman II.

All are examples of stories that take what was explored in the first “chapter” or “movie” and continue while raising the stakes dramatically and THEMATICALLY!

Hate to break the news, but, it’s ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE. Which is to say, the structure has been figured out; we know the rules, and that FREES us to be even MORE creative!

Picasso mastered how to draw a Still Life bowl of fruit before revolutionizing the art world with Cubism. Every future piano master starts out playing Mary Had a Little Lamb to learn the scales. And every story teller learns about the Heroes’ Journey in writing class. So why are movies being made without this key, basic, necessary component?

Because we, the audience, have been rewarding sh*tty movies with hundreds of millions of Box Office profit dollars and the message this sends is, “We don’t want character, emotion, logic, story…just give us setpiece money shots and we’re happy.”

We don’t have standards anymore.

Or, if we do, we’re too tired to demand they be met.










	How does a movie have so many promising elements and still manage to be just average? I know, you want some funny captions under each picture, cause everything has to have sarcasm to it to be marketable. Okay, here goes, from right to left starting at the top: 1) Robert ponders the logic of how Whiplash can still walk after being rammed over and over by a car. 2) Don Cheadle thanks Terrance Howard for passing up an easy payday. 3) Gwyneth is still mad AC/DC’s music was chosen over Coldplay’s to be in the movie. 4) Sam explains, “People, I’m a bad ass actor. Time to make me a star.” 5) Mickey makes his daily I-have-to-remind-myself-about-how-much-I’m-getting-paid-to-do-this-phone-call to his agent. 6) Hair. Lips. Cleavage. 7) “It’s good to be Sam Mutha Fuking Jackson. 8) John’s creativity and risk taking impulses are handcuffed by a symbolic suitcase of guaranteed Box Office profit from Iron Man 2*.

If Joseph Campbell were alive today he’d feel the life he devoted to unlocking the human wisdom uniform to everyone regardless of creed, color or culture had been wasted. He’d take a copy of The Hero with a Thousand Faces, eat it, crap into a bowl, get a paintbrush, 120 pages of 3-hole punched paper and just write the title “SH*T”. It would later sell for $5.3 million, go on to gross $300 million worldwide and win him a best screenplay Oscar.

It’s obvious nobody is reading and incorporating his discoveries.

Movies are stories. Stories are about the journey of people. People have dreams, goals and EMOTIONS!

Hold on, I’m not saying that Tony Stark should be crying every scene, what I AM DEMANDING is that characters be thought through!

What did Ivan Russian bad guy with tattoos want?

Revenge. Okay. Why?

Because Daddy-Stark-Guy-From-Mad-Men deported Daddy Russian because the Stalin Lover wanted to use the technology they were developing to make money?

That’s hilarious. The American capitalist Captain of Industry was really the communist while the communist was really the capitalist?

Hmmmm…interesting…how about fu*king exploring that?!

Oh wait, the son of each of the Daddy Scientists are cursed by the sins of their fathers?

How about fu*king exploring that?!

Oh, no, audiences don’t want to think today. No, they just want to watch things blow up, hear some loud THX sound and laugh a lot. We’re a bunch of idiots who only respond to bright lights, di*k and farts jokes with of course a little t*ts n’ ass.



		Campbell smiling as if he’ll make a difference.

Note to Studios: We are the smartest we’ve ever been! If someone from the Renaissance were teleported to today their 56k modem processing brains would explode from information overload.

Someone from the 1950s would have a stroke, possibly recover and need 5 years of accelerated learning courses to catch up, a therapy which would include of all things, video games!

In 1915 Birth of a Nation revolutionized movie making with close ups, acting and parallel editing – time and location shifting.

Almost a hundred years later Birth of a Nation looks like it was made by a 4 year old racist on a 2001 version of imovie.

Note to Audiences: We have smartbrainthink. But, if we don’t believe it, why should Story Corp?




	Reason are we movie the trilogy original best of is.

We CAN comprehend multiple processes at once. A scene CAN be physically dramatic, emotionally dramatic and thematically dramatic at once – and we’ll understand it all.

If the problem here wasn’t that the filmmakers doubted our intelligence, then it’s that they themselves didn’t know where to do with the Iron Man storyline.

Let’s look at Empire Strikes Back: Luke continues his Jedi training, while Darth continues his search for Luke, the Emperor continues his goal of destroying the rebels, Han and Lea fall in love, Chewy takes a bath, C-3PO hides in a closet. Forward momentum! Dramatic complications! Inner struggle of character!

I GUARANTEE, no, I GUARAN-FU*KIN-DAM-TEE that if the Yoda-Luke scenes were cut from Empire Strikes Back, we’d no longer rank it as the best Star Wars ever, definitely not the best sequel and maybe just an average sci-fi movie.

It’s Luke’s journey that connects us, because we take it along with him.

In The Dark Knight, it’s The Joker we respond to because he’s driven and clear about his belief about the world. He’s an agent of Chaos revealing that people are savage and selfish when the rules that hold society together are abscent.

For me, The Dark Knight fails to truly develop Bruce Wayne’s character , it does a good enough job, but is so Joker focused that the continued journey of Bruce from Batman Begins is neglected. Rachel’s death doesn’t affect him as much as it should. How does it change him? The world he’s trying to change?

In Aliens, Ripley is haunted by the monster that killed her friends and ruined her life, she must go back and face it again. It’s her story, her EMOTIONAL journey. It’s not a coincidence that she must fight the Alien Queen all by herself in a suit of armor representing her newly discovered inner strength – yeah, sh*t can be deep and entertaining if filmmakers want it to be.

She’s slaying the dragon. She’s a knight! It’s all been done before. The challenge is: make it apply to us today. Remember, history is the same people doing the same sh*t, today we just have cooler toys.

The Godfather 2 – do I even need to explain this?

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3? Yeah, it brings Nancy back to face Freddy one more time, it reveals the slasher’s backstory AND as a sequel, it heightens the concept – the dreamworld – and gives it imagination.

Superman II, again, carries forward the storyline and characters established in part one while giving the main character thematic challenges to overcome through physical manifestation. Superman wants to be human because he fell in love, he gives up his powers just as three other Superpeople show up! Oh snap! How’s he gonna get out of this one? It works on the inner and outer levels.

Is that so much to ask for Iron Man 2?

If we list the problems of this sequels they’re basically 1) Weak character development/no theme 2) little action and 3) too much comedy/too little drama.

Now, just cause it’s a sequel doesn’t mean it has to be a Transformers 2 action orgy. It just means the battle sequences have to have meaning in them.

Remember, in a drama characters fight with words, in an action movie, they use bullets – both should be loaded with emotional firepower.

At the bare minimum, Tony and Ivan need a rewrite. Let’s see if we can do that here.




		The blocking here is a metaphor for the movie - Batman is in the background, The Joker upstages.


	A brother betrays, a brother revenges, the audience remembers the drama, emotion and shock.



	Ripley’s inner transformation is visually symbolized. Also, the fight reflects her emotional state.


		Freddy gets a backstory, Nancy gets closure.

A variation of Samson and Delilha for modern times. Also, the first Superhero movie to “keep it real.”

Let’s start with questions: Where does Stark begin in act I and where should he end up, emotionally/thematically, in act III? What are the fears, memories, dreams, goals, challenges swirling within him that he’s repressing with the parties, girls and drinking? What type of conflict will he need to face in order for these repressed below the water beach balls to be released and rise to the top of his consciousness?

How does he change during the course of this movie? AND, if he DOESN’T, they WHY doesn’t he?

I know, we’re asking, “Why can’t we just watch somebody have an adventure without changing?” And that’s fine, James Bond does it all the time, but what happens after we watch 3 or 4 Bond movies? We stop focusing on the main character and only care about the “gadgets.” “What’s the new Bond toy in this movie?” “Who’s the hottie in this one?” At that point it doesn’t matter who the character is, at that point the question is, “What’s the point?”

Let’s ask those same questions for the Ivan as well as some basic background character building ones: Why didn’t his dad invent more stuff when he got sent back to Russia? If Ivan is so smart why did he wait until his father died to apply himself and build this awesome technology? What’s with the whips? I mean really? They look…kinda cool, but, what’s the power? Do they drain Iron Man of his energy? How does he feel about his father? How does he feel about Tony? Can he forgive? Why not come to America and become a business rival?

Basic questions never asked, or if they were, their answers were never provided.

If we fast forward to the final fight of the movie – yeah, it was cool when Iron Man shot that laser that cut all the robots in half (I clapped and cheered for that) – but when Whiplash showed up, he said nothing, at least in that first one we knew why Obadiah Stane was pissed at Tony, and why he was doing what he was doing.

Here, the final battle is an excuse for Iron Man and War Machine to cross swords and blow their big energy beam ball loads all over Whiplash-Iron-Man-Russian-Guy’s metal teeth crusted toothpick gnawing face.

Be truthful, were we thinking, “Hmmm, that was kind of quick and it didn’t really make much of an impact. I kind of want to complain but I don’t want to seem like a d*ck.”

Think back to The Joker vs Batman, Darth vs Luke, Superman vs Zod, Nancy vs Freddy, Ripley vs Queen Alien, Michael Corlone vs Fredo Corlone. Those relationships are tense and filled with stakes and some kind of emotion that fuels the conflict and personal change.

There wasn’t even a back and forth close-up between Ivan and Tony during the final battle. That’s a BARE MINIMUM requirement!!! The hero and villain have to face off…face to face! It’s gun fighters in the middle of town at noon! Again, been done before, but make it work for us today, now, here. It didn’t.

Iron Man 2 had it there, but it wasn’t used because we didn’t require it…no, we didn’t demand it.

Pepper Potts probably has the biggest change from movie 1 to movie 2. She’s CEO now and got the man she wanted. Everyone else is the same. It’s the same as the first movie, which is the worst review any sequel can get.

Canadian novelist Douglas Coupland once said, “If you don’t change, then what’s the point of anything happening to you?”

Let’s add, “What does it mean when you don’t change?” Because that can be interesting too.

Tony Stark is a unique Superhero character. He’s rich, handsome, smart and narcissistic. He parties, likes the ladies, drinking and in many ways, is a symbol of today’s male American Dream: Hugh Hefner meets Bill Gates meets 1960s/70s Mick Jagger rock star popularity.

That’s a writers DREAM! What does a life of excess lead to? What happens when something can’t be fixed with technology? Does the womanizing make him happy?

He’s also, slowly, becoming machine like! Implanting tech into his body. Explore that. How technology is changing society.

It doesn’t have to be over the top, just make the universe real, provide details and how the character reacts to that all.

I’m always going to vote, the more layers the better. The Matrix can be enjoyed as a cyberpunk kung-fu live-action anime adventure, or it can be an adaptation of Plato’s The Cave philosophical meditation on the nature of reality. Adding the smart doesn’t make it less enjoyable, it actually makes it MORE so.




	Could’ve been a great villain instead of just comical.


	It doesn’t matter that we don’t see Mickey’s face.


	Ever here of, “E tu Brute?” This movie hasn’t.

The dramatic conflict also lacks, and that’s because the characters personal motivations haven’t been determined.

Justin Hammer is along with Pepper, the most developed. He’s the billionaire that wants to be just as cool as Tony but no matter how hard he can’t get over the popularity hump. Really fun character brought to life so well by Rockwell who steals the show.

But even Hammer isn’t very active as an opponent. He talks, then gets Ivan to start building robots, then talks and makes jokes, then eats and makes jokes.

Everyone is talking and making jokes, which is where this movie succeeds. The chemistry between actors and the dynamic between characters is great, but it’s all about laughs.

The perpetual motion machine on Peppers desk when Tony brings her Strawberries is funny, but just like Tony says, “Can I move this out of the way?” YES! Please do Tony, because it IS in the way of the scene. It’s BLOCKING the dramatic conflict between you and Pepper…or is it HIDING the fact that there isn’t any!

When there’s no drama between characters, a.k.a. no conflict a.k.a., “I want something from you and you want something from me,” most movies turn to comedy to fill in the gap left empty by missing drama.

Just like the Transformers tip-toe-ing around Sam’s house in the first movie.

And that distracts us from realizing, “Huh, no one is really fighting to get anything from each other.”

At minimum the government should have been a strong source of opposition. They want the suit. So why not just get it. How awesome would that have been. “Tony?” “Yes Jarvis.” “The entire U.S. military is outside. They want the suit.” “Oh sh*t.”

And when Rhodey took it, why wasn’t there a moment when we could see the betrayal on his face? Just rip off the Robert the Bruce betrayal of William Wallace in Braveheart! Do it shot for shot, reaction for reaction, at least it would be in there. But, no, instead he just fights Tony, who’s drunk once in the movie, at his party, and takes off with the suit.

What? Where was the scene where the military brass put pressure on Rhodes to get the suit? Where’s the struggle within. Come on, this is Judas betraying Jesus! Show Rhodes as human, he’s flawed, maybe he wants a promotion? Maybe he quits out of friendship? Don’t make it easy! At that point you could see the filmmaker’s hand coming in to carry Rhodes away like a little kid playing with action figures because it’s what’s “suppose” to happen according to the structure instead of what is organically born out of character conflict. The Rhodes vs. Stark conflict has SO much potential and promise.

Good vs. Good is always more interesting than Good vs. Evil.

But, that’s too advanced for us right? Cause we is smartnot, right?

I really wanted to leave this movie saying out loud, “That was fu*king awesome!”

Instead it was, “Well at least they didn’t mess it up.”

Yes, the Thor teaser at the end was fun and got a cheer, but it doesn’t erase the Movie Truth: Iron Man 2 had everything going for it, but decided to phone it in. If it took a risk it would’ve been great, instead, it’s acceptable.

Let’s ask this question in closing, “What are we looking forward to in Iron Man 3?”

Answer: Nothing that’s been established in the first two movies other than the “tone.” Is that really an accomplishment? Saw IV feels like Saw but its not better. Spiderman 3 felt like Spiderman 2, but that didn’t help it.

Along with the “feel” expect a new villain but the same old Tony. Yeah, maybe he’ll settle down with Pepper, maybe he’ll join The Avengers, but do we feel like we’re going to see the final chapter of an epic tale?

I’ll be there in line ready to check it out, cause again, it’ll be as good as the previous movies, but will it take it to the next level?

Not unless we demand it.

With a $450 million worldwide gross so far, all signs point to everyone involved in the project saying to themselves, “We’re doing a great job!”

No, you’re doing a “good” job. Sorry to use yet another religious reference, I know it’s not a very pop culture thing to do, but Jesus realized the power of story, he used parables to teach, so let’s reference the one about the father who had three sons. He gives them some money and says, “Do something with it.” Son number one loses it all, son two doubles it, son three buries it in the ground. When dad comes back to check on them, they each share their results. The one who gets yelled at is…the son who buried it! Because at least the other two took a risk!

Iron Man 2 was made by son # 2. It plays it safe. Review your list of top 10 films. Chances are, they did something that pushed boundaries.

Let’s quote James Cameron. When discussing his ambition as a filmmaker and in life he said, “Failure is always an option, but fear is not.”

Instead, the mantra here seemed to be, “Safe profitable sequels are the goal, risky audience potentially alienating storytelling is not.”

And then there’s Sam Jackson and his eye patch… “Alas, Poor Samuel Mother Fu*kin’ Jackson, we knew him well.”

And then there’s the hotties dancin’ to AC/DC…they should be even hotter on Blu-Ray on a LCD 50” screen, right? Pause those leg kicks, use the zoom in feature - that’s cinema!

And then there’s hope that the third will be more like Tony Stark: a risk taker that innovates and doesn’t apologize. That’s what cinema and we, the audience, need most now, a movie hero.

Daddy Stark has a great quote in the movie, “Through technology, all things are possible.” Can we alter that and say, “Through character based storytelling, great movies are possible.”

Let’s hope there’s a diorama in a studio office, created by Darryl Zanuck or Louis B. Mayer or one of the studio moguls with the quality movie formula hidden within its design, cause, that secret seems to have been forgotten and need to be rediscovered.

Film is like Tony’s heart, at the mercy of the technology that’s been created to keep it alive. The focus on genre setpieces is poisoning the core of celluloid storytelling. That new element, that hidden solution we’re hoping to find, is something that’s been there all along - spirit.

Now, we just need someone who can implement it ah-la Tony Stark and his holographic workstation.

How busy is James Cameron? Christopher Nolan? Peter Jackson? Anyone?




		How to distract the audience from the lack of drama: Step One - ta-tas.



	How to distract the audience from the lack of drama: Step Two - Cool toy available at Sharper Image.


	The Movie Preview Critic rates IRON MAN 2:

Iron Man 2’s PLACE IN MOVIE HISTORY:

	C
	C

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